This is the story of how facebook and I broke up for a while. Eventually, I decided to use it again. So, “I’m on Facebook now!” But we’ll see how that works…
I think it started back in 2010. I had a crush on a girl who probably didn’t have any interest in me, and probably still doesn’t know I had any in her (let’s keep it that way, shall we?). So anyway, she was good friends with a guy, and so natural he would show up in her pictures occasionally. However, rather than seeing this as entirely normal, I got really jealous.
I also was spending way too much time in the internet anyway. (I probably still do, but I can put it away for awhile now without dying.) So it was taking up too much of my time.
I also had too many bad memories associated with it. I had bad connections that I needed to cut. I needed to get rid of them. I know that might sound harsh, but I knew I needed to once-for-all sever those ties with people.
And over time, I slowly came to realize what God was telling me through prayer. If I wanted to get rid of the sin, I needed to get rid of the source (something also told to me by one of the pastors at FBC). So, I did.
It wasn’t easy at first, but I gave it up. In reality, I didn’t do a hard delete. I just put it on a temporary shutdown, so that if I ever needed to get in touch with somebody again, say in the case of an emergency, I could. And I’ve had several times where I have used the old facebook account to get in touch with old friends.
But normally, I didn’t fire it up. I was effectively off of facebook. I didn’t use it, I didn’t look at it, I eventually took the mindset that I didn’t have a facebook. That probably helped more than anything.
So now, these years later, I created another facebook. Why? Well, I deleted facebook to deal with perceived sin. I took that step, that action, to help my life spiritually. But that sin isn’t there now. Of course, I’m not saying I don’t still deal with jealousy and other sins, but I also don’t deal with them on the same level.
Was the idea that the girl I currently have an interest in has a facebook a factor in starting a new account? Yeah, probably. I can’t say with certainty that it wasn’t. But was it the driving factor? No. I can tell you that.
I started this new facebook account because I wanted to be able to stay in touch with people I consider friends, but may not see very often. I have a Twitter account that I started back in March trying to avoid a facebook account (more on that in a minute), but alas, most of the folks I know are not on Twitter.
Now, why was I trying to avoid a facebook account? Simple: worry.
I have learned recently that I shouldn’t worry so much. In fact, my worrying about things was probably really unhealthy. As I’ve been learning to trust God and give Him full control, I’ve become much happier. I’ve become more stress-free. I’ve also been feeling a lot better both spiritually and emotionally.
And as I’ve learned to let things go, I’ve seen that I was worrying about repeating mistakes of the past more than focusing on having a brighter future. Of course, I pay attention to my sin patterns, but what I learned overall that changed my perspective is that paying too close of attention, and questioning my every action, doesn’t lead to anything productive.
I hope this helps inspire you to get rid of something causing sin in your life, and I hope it helps you to trust God more. It took me a few years, but it is definitely worth it. 🙂