Patience Is Hard

“Patience is a virtue.”

I have heard this from my mom as long as I can remember. I also have started quoting it in the last year or so. I actually said it at church a few months ago and somebody who I wasn’t even talking to responded, “wow, that’s so true!”

But I’ve been finding out how true it is lately.

And so it is at this point that I should probably mention this post has to do, mainly, with girls.

But part of it is me being ill. That really does put a damper on things that I want to do. It’s a lot harder now to do stuff than it used to be. Some stuff I just can’t do anymore (getting on the roof to put up Christmas lights will likely result in me dead/in hospital). And others I’m just going to have to find a different way to do.

I also find other things I’m going to have to wait for. Take this for example: I can’t date (see? I don’t forget these things; it’s a literary tactic). Not until I’m 17 anyway. This is by my own choice. Of course, it was about the age my older sister was allowed to start saying, but that has nothing to do with this. It’s a personal conviction of mine that I’ll explain in more detail later on. Point is, I can’t date right now.

But does that mean that I don’t like anybody? Of course not. As mentioned in a previous post, there is a girl I have an interest in. I don’t necessarily like her romantically, however. I just don’t know that much about her. So of course I naturally want to know more. But I currently can’t ask about us sharing more information about ourselves. Why? Well first, that is very obvious and really is a form of dating, just without the actual title… which is a bad idea. Secondly, and most importantly, she is younger than me, which means that even if I am getting close to the “dating age”, she isn’t.

I also know that it might be a better idea to wait beyond 17 anyway. If dating is about marriage then it is foolish to mess with others hearts (and my own) by getting involved in a relationship that I know probably won’t lead to that. It would just be a waste of time, and that’s not fair to anyone nor right. A lot of folks I know in the homeschooling community start actually dating about 17-19, so I’m not that unusual.

But as a matter of course, folks our age are still gonna take interest in each other even when they can’t do anything about it (you don’t do anything without your parents permission; it’s that simple). So I follow a couple of rules to guide all my relationships, including the ones that don’t have romantic overtones:

1) Would it shame Jesus? How to tell if it would: “if it would make your grandma ashamed of you, it will make Jesus ashamed of you” –my youth pastor.
2) Would I approve it for my own daughter (romantic rule)? Explanation: if at my age, I know some things I will NOT allow for my future daughters, why would I allow them for myself and their mother? Plus, I’m a big brother. I won’t allow some things for her, thus I won’t be a hypocrite.

If at our respective ages I won’t allow anything between my little sister (and my future daughters) and their suitors later on, I would be a sheer hypocrite to allow them now for myself and her. We are too young, bottom line. So I will have to wait.

For at least two-to-three years.


Until then I will just play in my head (over and over again) that John Waller song that was in the movie Fireproof, “While I’m Waiting.”

And you can find it here.

Last thought: if in two/three years I still have an interest in/like this girl, then I’d say it will probably be something worth pursing and having waited for. More words of wisdom from my mom: “something worth having is worth waiting for.”


2 thoughts on “Patience Is Hard

  1. Hey Noah, this is a very mature way to think of dating, and though I don’t really know you, I am proud of you for guarding your heart and this young woman’s heart.

    When I was in middle school I thought I should be allowed to date at 14…my parents thought differently, to say the least! Well, as I grew and matured as a follower of Christ, I came to the same conclusion as you (sorta) did–that dating is about finding a spouse, not about having a boyfriend because I like some guy (which I did like many guys as a teenager).

    The rule I set for myself was: no dating until freshman year is over (of college). I reasoned that I would not feasibly get married until I graduated, and since being pure before marriage was VERY important to me, and dating someone exclusively for more than three years would likely become quite a temptation, I decided that dating as a freshman would not be wise for me.

    Weirdly enough, even though only one guy in high school was the only guy to ever ask me out (what, I thought, why does nobody like me? 😦 ), I think God honored how I chose to wait and Chase asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks into sophomore year.

    Well, as you can see, I am now married AND in college… and I am so glad I didn’t start dating earlier, and also so SO glad we didn’t wait til I graduated to get married. 1.5 years of dating was MORE than enough to know that we were meant for each other, and had we been 18 years old when we discovered this, it would’ve made it much more stressful to wait…and wait.. and wait until Chase got through college and got a job to support us.

    It had long been a dream of mine to marry the first guy I ever dated… and by the grace of God it came true! Of course, this doesn’t always work, but I made sure to get to know the most important things about Chase before even dating him (relationship with Jesus, theology, life goals, etc). There are so many things you can learn with out even dating, so many things you can learn while dating, and a wholeeee lot of things to learn when married!

    All in all, I totally understand. Patience isn’t easy. But I will add to the encouragement that you’ve already received, from someone who has just been through what you are going through–it is totally worth the wait.


    P.S. maybe you can talk to Chase about it sometime…he waited until he was 21!

  2. Hehe, here’s some encouragement for you while waiting: I’m almost 21 and have never dated anyone. I’m not avoiding it, but an opportunity has not yet presented itself to me. I trust that there is a Divinely-appointed reason why this is the case.

    P.S. It’s the Samuel you know

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